Eden Alexander: Fetish star, webcam darling and female ejaculatix par excellence, Eden arrives for her virgin appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show wearing a Valentine/Lupercalian red latex dress that keeps sliding down off her prominent nipples and up over her panty-less buns (“I could have sworn it fit when I left the house,” she coyly insists). After she whips her “hubby” on the bondage cross, Eden is the first guest to be initiated into the cult of the Lupercal as I draw a bright red Lupercalian heart on her forehead. Then she is off and riding the Sybian (as she’s done before in a medical fetish scene, in a wheelchair!). As I paddle her behind, Max speaks Italian and off she goes into a wild wolf-howling orgasm. Then she’s ready to squirt, and oh my goddess, does she ejaculate a shooting Fountain of Venus to rival Mount Vesuvius (and Deauxma!) soaking the Love Rug, splatting the ceiling of the Womb Room and baptizing me and all my onstage cameramen. Hallelujah, Sister Eden! It’s Holy Water: the very special Lupercalian blessing of Amrita. We don’t believe everything we hear in the Womb Room, but when Eden tells us she holds the unofficial world’s record for longest squirt (12 feet), we believe it. Despite her talents, she’s not a natural-born female ejaculatrix; she had to learn to squirt—which changed her life. And her sheets, many times over.